Maybe the Wall has some answers.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Of Closed Chapters and Open Endings

This is my last post here, on Thought Experiments. My thought experiments have been my sanctum, my refuge, my shell, my window and my bridge. And they deserve better closure than being abandoned at random. But what with logistics and logic getting in the way, abandonment is exactly what they've been relegated to these last few weeks, and the future doesn't look too promising either. So this is one last post from Crossworder, just to say goodbye. It was wonderful knowing you, World! I'll see you later, hopefully. Where, though, is the question.

All in good time. :)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

A little lost, a little incomplete.

I feel like I left a part of myself behind. And it will always remain right there, where I left it, even as I travel new roads and walk, stumble, grow and learn afresh, the way life is meant to be lived.

I lost my heart to the city. It's the kind of thing you can't really help doing, and can't really undo.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Leaving Home

There's so much I want to say right now...which is why this isn't going to be a long post. I just had to put this in here, though, because it marks an inflexion point of sorts.

This is my last night in Delhi.

Yes, I know I'll probably spend several days, even years (who knows?) here some time in the future. But it won't be the same. It will be good, of course.

But this has been special. It's been a very special six years that nothing can come even close to approximating. Tonight is the end of a phase.

So much has changed...and so much set to change. It leaves me breathless just to think about it. Who would have thought?

Who would have thought that whatever I was six years ago would turn into whatever I am now, for better or for worse? Who would have thought that life and its geography would change altogether?

My last 10 hours here. And a lifetime of lessons, loves and memories. No, there's no way this can be a long post.

Till next time, then.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Of Money and a Muddled Memory

...and hello to you!

What have you been up to all this while? How are things?

Me, I've had a very eventful two weeks here. Here I am, two papers away from a postgraduation degree...and tentatively about to begin another trip, a new one entirely. And this evening, with the latest Mani Ratnam-Gulzar-Rahman masterpiece in the background, I am going to write about a few things.

Here's a revelation: I can actually understand Finance!

(If you're wondering why that is a revelation, well...Hi, I'm Crossworder. Nice meeting you!)

Getting back to the point, I discovered yesterday, to my utter astonishment, delight and alarm, that I am actually capable of making sense of all those concepts and calculations. Nothing very fancy or complicated, you understand, just basic Finance. But it stunned me to find myself following all of it last evening. Of course, one has to take into account the fact that I had a paper this afternoon, and I am one of those oddballs who perform best under pressure. Maybe it wasn't me, just the exam looming large. But, for a change, it made sense.

Does that mean I had a good Finance paper, then?


I went a little mad during the paper. The first five minutes, I thought I could answer all the questions pat. Then, euphoria gave way to reason, and I picked my five questions and began the paper.

Ten minutes later, everything began to slip away.

Formulae rearranged themselves in my head. Capital structure blended itself inexorably into cash management. Theories and their assumptions and propositions melted into an unidentifiable mass.

No problem, I thought confidently, ignoring the ominous cackle somewhere in my head. Can't do these questions, will do the others. I know all of this.

No, I didn't. Not any more.

So I took a deep breath and sprinted out for a glass of water, the whole classroom's eyes following me. If they had all chorused, "What's with you?", I couldn't have heard it any clearer. Nobody voluntarily leaves the room during a paper like this. But I was suddenly thirsty, and it wasn't helping my convoluted thought processes any.

To cut a long story short, I did finish the paper. Was it good? No. Was it bad? I'll have to say, not very. Where the formulae and my memory were being uncooperative, I simply applied some homespun logic and doggedly got to the answer somehow. Not bad. Only, I'm not sure it was the right answer.

What next, do I hear you ask?

Why, Marketing, of course! I can't wait to get started. :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

Mellow Fruitfulness :)

It is a beautiful, beautiful day. The afternoon was pure poetry...and now, early evening, it is all I can do to prepare for a paper on Strategy tomorrow without running out for a walk on the Ridge. Just thinking about the Ridge in this weather makes me want to throw everything aside and take off. The sky is clear and blue; there's a very soothing, cool (yes, cool!) breeze blowing; the world is bathed in mellow golden light; everything is just...perfect. Almost too good to be true. Honestly, this weather begs a walk. Know what, I think I'll give Strategy a break.


p.s. If this weather makes me want to borrow Keats' words, just how beautiful must the English autumn have been, to inspire them in the first place? Sigh.

Image courtesy Google Images